Ready or Not
by Jet Wolf
Summary: Rei thinks she's won this year in the battle against her birthday. Rei is very much mistaken.


**Standard disclaimer:** The characters aren't mine. This should come as no surprise. I am simply a teller of stories that occasionally claw their way desperately out of my head.

**Notes:** Rei's birthday brought in Rei Birthday 'Fic Day over on my Tumblr. This was the first prompt: "Minako tries throwing a surprise party for Rei". Oh how she tries.

_(17 April 2014)_

* * *

**Ready or Not**

She could lead armies into battle. She could devise and coordinate strategies that would decimate enemy forces in a matter of minutes. She was a fierce, legendary Sailor Senshi for love and justice.

She was going to scream if this didn't come together.

Minako flung herself backward from the table. "Ugh, why is this so hard!" she cried to the ceiling.

"Because it's Rei." Mako loomed in Minako's vision carrying a plate of sandwiches. She smiled down at Minako and shrugged sheepishly. "I love her and all, but Rei's a pain in the ass."

Flat on her back, Minako couldn't see Ami, but she heard the reproachful look anyway. "Mako-chan!"

Mako set the plate down and reclaimed her seat next to Minako, consequently disappearing from her view. "Tell me I'm wrong," she said with a laugh in a voice.

"You're not wrong," Minako immediately replied, hearing Usagi echo the same thing at the same time.

"I admit Rei-chan can be … difficult," Ami reluctantly conceded.

"Math is difficult," Minako heard Usagi say around what must be at least one, possibly two sandwiches. "Rei-chan is IMPOSSIBLE."

"And for her birthday!" Minako cried again. Once more, the ceiling cared little for the plight of surprise parties and friends who made life about a billion times harder than it should be. Minako shot it a parting glare then sat up again.

Usagi was reaching for another sandwich. "It's BECAUSE it's her birthday," she said.

"Maybe we shouldn't push this." Minako gaped at Ami. Usagi, sandwich dangling from her mouth, did the same. Ami blanched a little at their attention, but pushed on. "Rei-chan hates her birthday. Should we really force her to have a party?"

"She has a point."

Minako and Usagi snapped their head toward Mako. Usagi's sandwich flopped across her face but her teeth maintained their grip.

Mako easily met their gaze. "Maybe Rei should tell us what she wants to do?"

The sandwich landed on the table with a squelch as it tumbled out of Usagi's mouth. Minako resisted the urge to snatch one just to let it drop too. Instead she settled for mustering up the most incredulous expression possible and painted it three or four times across her face.

Usagi became gravely serious. She walked around the table and knelt next to her poor delusional friend. "Mako-chan." The hand she laid on Makoto's shoulder was warm but firm. "Mako-chan, NO."

"Rei-chan can't be allowed to do what she wants," Minako said, and there would be no arguing it. There were certain things in this world which were immutable. That Minako would become famous and beloved of millions. That her mother would try to ground her at least three times a month. That Rei, if left to her own devices, would mope around and spend her birthday sweeping. SWEEPING.

Ami still wouldn't give up. Dear, sweet, delusional Ami. "Minako-chan, it IS her birthday."

Minako opened her mouth to argue but for once, Usagi was faster. She was already on her feet, her hands on her hips as she struck a dramatic pose. "Doesn't matter! Rei-chan doesn't know what's best for her!"

In the blink of an eye, Minako was posed next to Usagi. "That's right! We must defend our dear Rei-chan from all enemies, including herself!"

"Especially herself!" Usagi added.

Their voices rang out together. "We will give Rei-chan the best birthday, even if it kills her!"

They stood triumphantly in the center of Mako's living room. Minako wished they had capes. Capes and a wind machine. She'd have to ask Haruka how they always managed to pull that off.

Mako and Ami exchanged a look. Mako shrugged first. "My present is going to be holding these two down for Rei."

Ami and reason were on the losing side as ever and she sighed. "Maybe I can make our next weekend trip a whole week instead. I suspect Rei-chan will need the extra time."

Minako and Usagi began one of their many choreographed victory dances, which might have stretched into the night had Mako not cleared her throat.

"Oh, right. Party." Minako settled back on her cushion.

Brows knitted together in concentration, Usagi did the same. She scooped up her fallen sandwich, shoved the whole thing in her mouth, and chewed while deep in thought.

Ami let her pen glide in small circles across the top of her notebook. "The Shrine is the only possible place Rei-chan won't suspect," she said. "We'll have to hold it there."

Nodding firmly, Minako agreed. "She's already going to be suspicious. If we try to bring her anywhere else, she'll know."

"Of course, being psychic, she probably already knows."

The "shhhh!"s Ami received were instant and fierce.

Mako sighed and drove the heel of her hand deeper into her cheek. "The problem is her being away long enough for us to set up, but getting home early enough for us to still have the party."

With a wave of her hand, Minako brushed aside half of that concern. "I can get in and decorate whenever." Honestly, what was going to stop her? School? Birthdays were WAY more important than school. "It's getting Rei to arrive at the right time."

"Thursday's obviously the best day."

Before Mako could say anything else, Usagi shook her head. "She'll be busy organizing a festival at school and won't be home until late."

"Wednesday? suggested Ami. "We could—"

"Nope," Usagi said. She reached for a handful of the cookies that Mako had just laid out and gazed at them lovingly. "Rei-chan's studying all night for a test."

Minako growled. How could Rei make life so difficult when she wasn't even there? "Friday then. We can—"

"Mnn, can't, she'll be—"

Whatever Rei was or was not doing that day was lost in Minako's shriek of anger and defiance to the universe that spawned so frustrating a creature as Rei Hino.

Mako didn't even favour Minako a glance, instead smiling at Usagi. "I thought you said Rei-chan was impossible? How do you know so well what she's doing?"

Usagi shrugged and shook her head. Some things didn't bear questioning. She knew where the cookies were now. In her mind, all current, vital questions had been adequately answered.

"I suppose it would do no good to suggest that this is a sign we should leave Rei-chan's birthday alone this year," asked Ami in a flat voice devoid of all hope.

The glare she received from Minako assured she was not disappointed.

"Don't think I don't know what this is, Rei-chan!" Minako yelled to the sky. "You won't win by scheduling!"

Mako's chuckle was thin and nervous. "Hey, hey, I'm sure we'll sort it out," she said.

"Right!" Usagi eagerly agreed. "If we have to, we'll just kidnap Rei-chan to her surprise party!"

Everyone laughed. Minako laughed most of all. It was not a comforting sound.

**... ... ...**

Rei looked out of her bedroom window one more time. That prickling feeling at the base of her spine just wouldn't go away. It wasn't a premonition of danger, which actually made everything all the more aggravating. Danger she could confront and deal with. This was just a sense that there was SOMETHING, and Rei couldn't exactly go on the warpath against "something".

Well she could, and had, but Rei tried to focus on specific reasons these days.

She inhaled and let the breath out slowly. It didn't really help. Maybe it was just because her birthday was in – Rei turned to check the clock and missed the flash of movement outside – about half an hour. Her birthday was usually pretty good for messing with her emotions.

What a pain. At least she'd prepared ahead of time this year. She was busy for a solid week around her birthday, which should completely mess up any plans her well-meaning but endlessly aggravating friends were trying to make. Rei smiled to herself. She was a crafty little maiden.

A yawn took over then, and Rei decided to let the feeling go. She'd get up early and do a fire reading. She could probably use the extra meditation time anyway.

The moonlight lit the way to Rei's bed. She climbed in and was asleep within minutes.

Consequently, she missed Minako peering in through the window. Between her black pants and black hoodie, even with the clear sky and full moon, Minako was near invisible. As she spied her target, Minako grinned. In one hand she clutched a length of rope. In the other, a packet of balloons.

The surprise party was coming, Rei-chan, whether you were ready or not.


End file.
